sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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