making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
