does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
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yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
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It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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