Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
