she looked like the bat from fern gully.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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