belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
