you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
