I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
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