best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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