It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I wish I only lived at night.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
