I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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