is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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