haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
