yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
