my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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