i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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