i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
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