omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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