Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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