oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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