I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize