I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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