Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
