Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
