those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
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Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
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She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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