this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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