There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
