I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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