Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
