just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
