this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
