she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
