U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Randomize