We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
