dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
