we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
