Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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