sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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