My room smells like vodka and shame
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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