yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
