not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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