Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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