Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
