I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
