nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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