Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
