was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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