fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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