At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
