4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
