Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
