That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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