Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
