Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
