I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
So here I am, sexting at work.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
