...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
