So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
