Me too!
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
