did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
