dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
