She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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