he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize