Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
