he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
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You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
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Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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