she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The adults are the big ones right?
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