Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
