Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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