Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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